“One of my guides said…”

I wrote this a year ago, in Sept. 2013 and am republishing it.


It’s been a disheartening 18 months.

“Disheartening” in the sense of “I have no heart for anything,” and it makes me sad. It makes me wonder why I did all the soul and spiritual work I have done, only to feel so adrift and washed out. Nothing personally horrible is going on either,  so i’m worried how poorly I’ll react to real problems.

A friend reminded me that the energies have been especially harsh. That made me feel better, because despite my low mood and dire thoughts, I knew it just wasn’t like me. Like menopause maybe, but not like me.

There was enough clearing today to actually meditate and ask my guides for information. I met Eldor, who reminds me of a Tree spirit, or a Fey.  We meet in this clearing that’s full of fallen oak leaves, and there’s a cabin there. I asked him about the harsh energies, and he said yes, there are harsh energies, and we are like sponges. What can I do about how I feel?  He said to find comfort, and what I saw in my mind, was my wonderful bed, and big pillows. He meant find physical comfort, like good music and food I enjoy.  And drink water to remove toxins. (It seems like all guides give this message.)

So I went out on a limb, for me, and asked if I was achieving my soul mission and he said no. I lurched out of meditation for a moment, afraid my ego was interfering. But I went back and he explained that my soul purpose is to hold the light and space for people. As a tree is an anchor for me, so I should be that for others. A human/divine connection in an internet-connection world.

I’ve felt this was my purpose before, but of course, it didn’t seem important enough, or grand enough. Shouldn’s I write books, lecture, lead? I’m a college graduate! I should do more.

But maybe one of my lessons in this incarnation is to “be.” Not to “do” so much. This is hard for me, because as an achievement-oriented American, I feel it is slacking to do “less.”

My favorite podcast “Psychic Teachers”, talked about ascension symptoms, specifically the transition of adult Indigo children into crystal energy. The sumptoms sounded like menopause on steroid, and while I don’t claim to be an Indigo, a lot of their conversation could’ve been about me.

I’m not trying to sluff off my responsibility for my emotions, however, there is comfort in thinking that it may not be “all my fault/me;” that environment, hormones and energy can really bring on physical symptoms. 

So the next step is how to release all this.

I’ve been calling in my angels, and if you’ve read my Blog post, you know that’s more of an intellectual exercise for me. Still, I’m calling on AA Michael and Co. to cut cords and remove negative attachments, and I’m clutching crystals all the time. With a little luck and support (I’m looking at you, Spirit Guides) this too shall pas



I love that word. 

In my real life, I don’t attend enough shenanigans. I grew up and got serious. This morning I watched a couple kids run with wild abandon across a field. I was in my office, behind an energy-saving window that doesn’t open. The glass was warm. I know because my nose was pressed against the window, wishing like hell I was outside running through a field like those kids.

Those are good shenanigans, playing hooky from work on gorgeous day. I should do that…


Spirit-type shenanigans aren’t so much fun. I won’t go to those scary movies about possessed houses or chain-saw wielding basement dwellers.  I’ve had very few shenanigans in my houses but I did have two I’m going to share, because you can avoid some shenanigans with some simple precautions.

Not all spirits have high vibrations or good intentions. Some are souls stuck on this plane who gravitate to certain vibrations. Bars will drawn souls that had addiction problems, hospitals can retain souls of people who passed over, but didn’t cross over into the light. It’s a good idea to surround yourself with white light before visiting friends in the hospital, and to minimize time spent in bars.

I like a good glass of wine as well as the next person, but sadly, alcohol does lower your vibration. Like attracts like.

Oddly enough, some low level spirits are drawn to high vibration people and events. Maybe that’s like a moth to the flame. 

My first shenanigan was a poltergeist of some type that manifested by door slamming and cold air. I knew something was up because we don’t have air conditioning and I’d feel a cold breeze flow past me after an upstairs door would slam. It took me a couple days to figure out what was going on, but when I did, I smudged the house with white sage, and brought in all beings of light (angels, Arch Angel Michael, Guides, etc.) to cleanse the house and property. I asked that the spirit leave at once, go into the light and leave us. Then sealed the property with salt and intention.

I can’t stress enough that “intention” is where it’s at. Your intentions do manifest. Be firm. Be clear. 

The cause of this little intruder was my husband. He had been on a motorcycle trip and decided to leave at 3 a.m. and travel through the Smoky Mountains to come home. He told me he was freezing and shivering by dawn when he stopped at a rest stop. Even though it was June, it was cold in the hills. The shenanigans started shortly after he got home. They stopped after I smudged and cleared the space. 

So – be alert to what you pick up. Energy travels. Get rid of the low energies when you find them.

The second episode was late fall. My friend and I had finished an evening of tarot reading and conversation and were half-way out my back door. I was still in the doorway when I felt a huge shove that knocked my against the sliding glass. Marie wasn’t even close to me. 

After she left, I did the same thing- smudge and cleanse, but asked AA Michael to protect my energy field and that of my home and property. This visitor was drawn to our vibrations, but didn’t get into the house.

As a routine, I ask for protection for my property every night. I invoke the four spirits, my guides and of course AA Michael to keep the space clear and allow only beings of the highest vibration and light to enter.

So far so good.

Chakra clearing

Last week I took the time to balance my chakras.  My goal was to find more balance, but honestly, I wanted some peace.

When I took my reiki attunements, they told us we could have healing crises  where patterns re-emerge for release or healing. I’ve felt like that a lot.  Anxious, snarky, overwhelmed and full of despair. Plus, it’s Mercury Retrograde and that can be a bear.

Anyway. After listening to some great podcasts on crystals, I hit the local rock shop and filled in some stones to make a chakra healing set. This was the impetus to cleanse my chakras – new stones. Whatever it takes, right?

Now, I know chakra clearing should be done regularly, but I skipped it.  I trusted that my brief morning meditations and affirmations for protection would take care of it. But whatever is going on with me, was getting the better of me. Time to walk the walk.

There are many ways to cleanse your chakras, but I use crystals. Each crystal matches the color of the chakra, red, orange, yellow, green, light blue, dark blue and violet. I put the stone on each chakra and asked my guides and healing teachers to be with me. If you’re attuned to reiki, you can reiki each chakra. If you have a pendulum, you can check your chakras before and after you cleanse them.

Just as I was finishing the meditation, and closing my energy field, I felt two large hands frame my hands, enclosing them. I felt this immense love and I assume healing. Within, I heard “You are loved.”

This is the second time I’ve felt a large and loving hand in my healing. I don’t know if this is a guide, or angel but it reminded me that we are never alone, in good or not-so-good times. And they are here to help us.

Connecting with Family

I love old cemeteries.  They have a lot of character. HA! I’m hilarious. 


Victorian cemeteries were often parks and funerary art and jewelry was a big industry.  Gravestones were truly monuments, maybe more a tribute  to the pocketbook than the deceased. Still, you get a completely different sense of peace in an older graveyard, than you do in one that only allows flat stones (ease of mowing, I’m told.) 

That being said, I’ve rarely felt the presence of ghosts or earth-bound spirits in a cemetery. Once in a while, I get an impression. I felt a woman in a long white dress walking along a path in Union Cemetery, Louisville, and the presence of a young child. They were indifferent to me, continuing on their way. 

Now, I’m not a medium, although I’ve felt family members presence at various times, usually right after they’ve crossed. The closest I’ve come to something like that, was when I had this compelling urge to find my great-grandmother’s headstone in a cemetery I’d not visited since childhood. The urge was like an itch that wouldn’t go away, and one day at lunch I drove down to St. John’s Cemetery and was drawn right to the spot. 

This happened again with a great grandfather, in a cemetery I’d never visited. I was drawn to the stone unerringly. 

I don’t know why I felt compelled to go to the cemeteries – I didn’t receive an Important Message. No one revealed a treasure, or wanted a killer found. I don’t believe spirits stay with their graves, they certainly move on to a higher plane of vibration, so I never got the point. But I followed through.

Around the same time period, I became obsessed with my Great Aunt Anita. She was born around 1900, entered a convent in the 1920’s and died in 1929. When I say obsessed, I am serious. I have her nun photo from 1928 or so, and I used the scanner at work to send it to every convent within a 125 radius of Youngstown Ohio. 

I made many new friends at a variety of convents, and I did get a hit on Aunt Anita, aka, Sr. Miriam, who is buried outside Pittsburgh with the Sisters of Divine Providence. I totally love that name. They invited me to come see the grave – which I haven’t yet (“John, guess what? Nuns invited us to visit their cemetery.” I am a good time girl.) And they told me what little they knew – like 3 lines, she contracted spinal meningitis, and was resigned to dying. *blech* Sad. She was 29. Beautiful smile. 

Aunt Anita-Quest was going on during the same time I was questing for some-type of spiritual revival – see my blog for details on that. So maybe her message had something to do with that. I felt her presence, as guide or something, for a very long time. 

Her photo is still on one of my altars, and at the end of October, I honor her along with my other ancestors. 

When you ask for signs.

We all ask for signs – mostly about making a decision and often we get confusing results. Sometimes, we’re just too close to the energy of fear or desire to understand or hear the message.

And this is true for me as well.

I have been feeling the desire to adopt another rescue. Now, I certainly have the BEST DOG EVER. He’s a rescue and a gracious senior coonhound. So I go back and forth. Is this right for Rhett Butler? Right for us, right for another soul? And I haunt petfinder.com and our local shelters.

So I asked for a sign after I walked a little bassett beagle girl, an owner surrender.

But I’ve been in the energy of fear it was wrong timing, wrong dog, and the desire of having another dog.

I went to the shelter after work last week, and told myself if she was there, I’d call my husband to bring Rhett to see if they were compatible. If she wasn’t there,that was my answer.

She wasn’t there.

I left half-relieved and half sad.

Yesterday I was on the shelter’s site and she was back up. Was this another sign?

This morning on the floor by my dresser was the dog license from 1992 from my sheltie that I loved so much. I was shocked. My husband laughed when I told him, because he’d gotten out an envelope and it must’ve fallen out. Now, I still think this is sign, even though there’ s an earthly reason for it happening. So don’t discount where the sign comes from, look at the entire picture.

Rise of the Warrior

I’ve spent the last two decades honing my Lightworker skills: meditating, energy clearing, reciting positive affirmations and so on.  I’ve devoured books from A Course in Miracles to The Power of Now, searching for tools to navigate myself through 20th and 21st century life. Most of them boiled down to change your thoughts, change your life, and there’s a lot of truth to this.

Having a positive outlook certainly helps. Holding good thoughts and raising your vibration, being conscious of your thoughts and releasing negativity are all important tools. 

But lately I’ve wondered if the term “Lightworker” is overlaying some important traits that should be used. The traits of the Warrior.

I think there are a lot of us who are warrior spirits. People who have fought – or stood up – in various incarnations. No doubt some of those incarnations were bloody and gruesome, and quite unrighteous. But maybe we’ve incarnated in this time to actually fight the good fight: advocate for clean environments, for compassionate action, etc. 

My worry is, that so many of us following a spiritual path dampen down these warrior traits: anger at injustice, sorrow at cruelty, horror at war and disgust with leaders, because we’ve been led to believe that only by holding Light and Love, can we fully realize our souls.

I don’t think that’s completely true, at least not for me. 
I believe I came here with a full range of past incarnations, to access the best abilities from those lives. I believe many of my past lives were lived as a warrior of some sort. I also believe many were lived as spiritual person of some flavor. 

The only way I can resolve my internal conflict “Why can’t I stay in a place of peace? Why am I outraged?” is to accept that my warrior attributes are needed every bit as much as my Lightworker traits. It is my task, in this incarnation, to find a way to meld the best traits of both.

Strengthening your connection to your guides

Whether you feel it or not you do have a connection to your guides.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to discover the method and recognize your guides.

Who are my guides?
Your guides are many and varied. They want to communicate with you. The fly in the chardonnay, so to speak, is how you think you need to see them. Your expectations of what your guides look like, or how they communicate can work against you as you begin to reach out to them.

Relax and Release.
Relax. They’re there. Every book and teacher will tell you to Meditate, Meditate, Meditate. This is so you learn to quiet your mind. Spirit is subtle. Its language is a touch and whisper, a caress and a shiver. Spirit will use the easiest method to communicate to you. This may be an image of loved one that just pops into your mind. It can be a song on the radio that has special meaning.
But you have to have the clear, quiet mind to catch the signs. This will take practice. Set aside the same time each day – start with 5 minutes – so your guides recognized this is your time with them. Believe me, once you start recognizing their signs, you’ll be picking them up all over the place.
What does release mean? It means release your expectation of what a guide will look or sound like, and how they’ll communicate with you. You may be looking for angelic being and dismissing the small voice that says a word. And right here let me note: not everyone is visual about their guides. You may hear messages, get a feeling, sense things or actually see them. Many people receive guidance through more than one sense. So – be open to how you receive. Again, meditation will heighten your awareness.

Asking for names.
Your guides don’t actually care what you call them, but we like to categorize and name things. So – you can ask your guide for a name. Be attentive to what you hear or see. If you see a deer or fox, maybe your guide IS a deer or fox. Animal guides are powerful and a part of shamanic journeying. Alternatively, your guide could be named Deer Maiden or Fox Maiden. A guide can also be a plant spirit

Basically, you are tapping into a higher vibration of wisdom, which is manifesting for you, as a recognizable entity.